“We are all dealing with the collective loss of the world we knew. The world we knew is now gone forever.” - David Kessler
Today, I listened to the most extraordinary interview: “David Kessler and Brené Brown on Grief and Finding Meaning.” Before listening, I hadn’t considered that what we are all experiencing right now, in the midst of this global pandemic, is grief. Grief doesn’t have to be related to death. We might be grieving the loss of a job, the loss of physical connection with our friends or loved ones, the loss of our routines, or of gathering to worship; whatever our loss(es) might be, they are real. And our losses cannot be ranked or compared to anyone else’s suffering because, as Kessler states, “The worst loss is always your own loss.” I’m going to repeat that, because it’s so powerful: “The worst loss is always your own loss.” So, when our kiddos are driving us bananas because they are missing prom, or football, or fill-in-the-blank-social-event, we can perhaps find grace in knowing these losses might be the worst losses they have experienced in their young lives. And anyone else’s comparative suffering doesn’t make their grief any less real. I also want to share with you a parable told by Kessler – “the parable of the long spoons.” In this story, a man walks into a room and sees the finest feast he’s ever observed; however, all the guests appear to be starving. The man realizes that the guests cannot feed themselves because the only utensils provided are spoons that are far too long for anyone to reach their mouths. The man is then told he is in hell. The same man enters the next room, which houses the same feast with the same spoons. In this room, though, the healthy, happy people are contentedly feeding one another. Brené Brown responds to this parable by astutely noting that, when we are all grieving at the same time, “The difference between hell and heaven is taking care of each other.” During this shared crisis, this will be my takeaway: we are all grieving. And the only way to move past that grief is to take care of one another. Thank you, David Kessler and Brené Brown, for a lesson I’ll never forget, and a lesson we should all remember in the days and months ahead. I encourage you to check out Brené Brown’s podcast, “Unlocking Us,” on Apple, Stitcher, or your preferred podcast provider.
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