Zombie Apocalypse

Anyone reading this right now knows we are in the middle of the global pandemic sh!tshow known as the coronavirus. We’re all confused and scared. But - HOLY HELL - I am terrified. So I was especially surprised when, while talking with a girlfriend yesterday (on the phone – social distancing, people!), she said:

“If this turns out to be the zombie apocalypse, you’re the person I want on my team.”

​Huh? Surely she couldn’t be referring to me, the *least* outdoorsy of all city-loving folk.

“Not because you hunt or anything,” she said. “But because nothing ever phases you. The world could be ending, and you would calmly direct everyone where to go, what to do, and which shoes to pack.”

I laughed, of course, at the thought of me in my designer heels and sunglasses, fighting off the undead. But, as I reflected on my friend’s statement, I started to understand what she meant. I might not be an amazing hunter-gatherer, but I am a world-class compartmentalizer.

According to Wikipedia, “Compartmentalization is a subconscious psychological defense mechanism used to avoid cognitive dissonance, or the mental discomfort and anxiety caused by a person's having conflicting values, cognitions, emotions, beliefs, etc. within themselves.”

Yep, I rock at compartmentalizing. Whether it’s from years of working in law enforcement in Los Angeles’s Skid Row, seeing the worst of the worst: gnarly dead bodies, extreme abuse, humanity at its absolute lowest, or from the rough road I’ve walked in my personal life, nothing phases me. More accurately, this pandemic stuff phases the hell out of me; I’m just really adept at staying calm, cool, and collected, no matter what.

You might be saying to yourself, “Yeah, yeah, zombies, compartmentalizing . . . what does this mean for me?”
Well, I wasn’t born this way. And through the years, I’ve gained enough perspective and wisdom to understand how I developed these skills. Call it what you will: Compartmentalizing. Keeping a cool head. Resilience. I’ve got this down. And I think I’ve developed a way to teach these skills to others.

I mean, who doesn’t need some serious resilience right about now? Bring on the zombies. Follow along. I’ve got you.